Wednesday 3rd February 1988

Did some quilling today it was quite good if anybody reading this doesn't know what quilling is it's rolling paper up into shapes and making patterns and pictures with them still don't know if Fay loves me or not.

Why am I so obsessed with Fay? It's annoying me now. I feel really quite bad for the little chap that was me...

the fact that I wrote the explanation of quilling is one of my favourite bits of this whole diary. It illustrates that I wanted to share this with people at some point, but if that is the case then why the diddlyheck didn't I make this a bit more flippin interesting?

Tuesday 2nd February

Oh Joy oh rapture I think Fay fancies me all because I wore my black and jade jumper everybody likes it but especially Fay. 12 days to go still wondering how many cards I'll get. Can't wait to be with my love again. I'm stopping now because my arms aching.

Dear Neil aged 10,


You have absolutely no idea how incredibly camp you are, how incredibly melodramatic and how writing how much your arm aches after waxing lyrical about 'your love' means a different thing to what you meant at the time...


Seriously little man, the phrase 'Oh joy, oh rapture' is really never going to get you anywhere is it? Apart from universally mocked on the interweb when you reach the age of 33.


I love you chap, I just wish I could have helped you back then...

Monday 1st February

Nothing much happened today apart from I went to Judo and Jaime and Garrone are in love so theres nothing much to write about apart from I made this poem when George bit me

One little bump all on its own

George just bit me

And I started to moan

nothing much happened today – get used to seeing that phrase a lot!

So, nothing apart from all the random weird things I listed... AND THE FACT THAT GEORGE THE DOG BIT ME! What an idiot I was... George was incredible, really gentle and lovely. I must have done something to really really really piss him off, or I just mis-timed something and stuck my hand in his mouth. I'll never know now...

Jaime was a girl at school... I'll tell you about her later.

Sunday 31st January

Theres hardly anything to write about today because all that really happened is Michael and Michelle came and just now on wickers world somebody was on that made toilet seats that said on them -

if you sprinkle
when you tinkle
be a sweetie
and wipe the seatie

my dad's poorly and theres only 14 days to go “gulp!”

so, there's nothing to write about... Michael and Michelle are my cousins from Macclesfield. I've not seen them for years but I remember really liking them. Michael was/is hilarious and must have done/said something that made me howl laughing but no, I decided to play it down entirely and concentrate on a small part of a Wicker's World episode about toilet seats.

And what was up with my dad? He's poorly? No other details... these things are a bit more important than how many days there are til blimmin valentine's day!

Saturday 30th January

Went to church tonight it was quite boring it was all about peace. Went to chesterfield I got a car, some sponge foam tyres for my radio controlled car and a pen other than that nothing happened today so I'm stopping now.

Only a little entry this one, but oh so telling of what my head was like. Nothing happened... getting a car when I was a little lad was a big deal! Why didn't I say what type of car? A pen? I remember getting the foam tyres for my car, they were black, replacing the weird red coloured ones I got when I got the car.

Church: Trying to get a small child interested in the Roman Catholic church is - I imagine - quite difficult. All I saw was that it meant I had to get up early on a sunday, or go out on a saturday night to sit in a hall and talk quietly... for hours. I feel bad about it cos my dad loves football and goes to church, I never got either of those things.

Friday 29th January 1988

went to racing club tonight. I came sixth in my first heat seventh in the second heat and third in the third Heat on the third heat I was only a couple of seconds from being first because the people who came first and second did the laps faster than mine we all got 20 laps in five minutes. I came 28th overall out of 50 Drivers or around that. Then we went under the stage it was dead good but it's heaven when you get out. We went under to put the track and the carpet away. 16 days to go! I hopped all the way to school all around where ever I went and back home again on the same Foot because of my verucca (every body say aah) it's quarter past eleven so I'm stopping now.

I like how I was so accurate about the numbers... 28th out of something maybe about 50... the rules of the track were fairly open to errors, I could've been a contender!

I really wish that I'd made up the fact that I hopped everywhere, I really actually did hop all around all day. I think I did it to make people feel sorry for me, and maybe to prove to my mum that I was not making it up when I said it hurt the day before.

Thursday 28th January 1988

Had the rest of my verucca taken off today and I saw the razor blade it was dead sharp it started bleeding I thought it had stopped when I put my sock back on but when we got home there was blood all over my sock and in my shoe! Nothing goes right for me. Daniel Shepherd, David Widdowson, Sarah Moffet and Corrine Leader made up this code today and instead of saying sorry you said “orrysay” and instead of hello you said “oellhay” getting neck ache again so I'll stop now.

“Nothing goes right for me” heartbreaking. I remember very clearly the journey home, about half a mile up Green Lane complaining bitterly about how much my foot hurt (I blame the nurse, she should have used a less 'dead sharp' blade) but my mum didn't believe me... my little white socks and my Adidas Samba sole were soaked in blood when I got into the hallway and my mum apologised and got me some ice cream.

Again, the names aren't changed cos we were all innocent and I think it's kinda funny how I wrote everyone's full name, I don't know why. The secret code must be a playground conciousness thing, it seeps through the cracks in the tarmac and gets everyone at some point.