Tuesday 9th February 1988

Fay and Andrew Quince are in love so much for my girlfriend! I've thought about Boris and Oscar. Lizzy thought of Blacky and Ginger. They're the only things that happened today. It is Kelly's birthday today.

I am entirely unsure whether the relationships that Fay seems to fall in and out of are not just in my head. It seems wrong.

The names are the guinea pig suggestions, in case you were wondering.

Never mentioned Kelly before have I? Not sure why that is, but remember the name for later...

Monday 8th February 1988

“Ouch”! I've had the rest of my verucca taken off today if you want to know what the nurse did see monday 25^th January. 6 days to go!!!!! Fay said she isn't sending any cards out but I think she's just saying that so if I get one from her I won't know who its from didn't go to Judo tonight because of my verucca. Good news I’m getting two male guinea pigs (both long haired) one black one and one ginger they haven't got any names yet so I’ll be thinking about that I might put some in this diary.

Poor delusional little lad. The ups and downs of whether Fay and I are ever going to get married seem to be the theme that runs through this diary so far... spoiler alert! I didn't marry her. It strikes me that although now my best friends would say that I live my life out loud, I really do keep quite a lot in. This diary is testament to the fact that if I were to vocalise every thought I had, I imagine most people would have stopped talking to me by now. I’m not saying I still think like this but I can still just about identify with where I was coming from... just about. I’m not convinced I believed myself but in this diary it kinda seems like I was writing it for someone else – as evidenced by the 'see monday the 25^th January' bit.

Have I ever mentioned judo before? Didn't think so. I’m weird. Oh and you will not believe how many suggestions/ideas for names for the guinea pigs are in the entries ahead...

Sunday 7th February 1988

Auntie Joyce Grandad and Auntie Em came today and I played on my computer at chuckie egg and Arcadians they were the only things that happened today apart from I went to church and after I played with my radio controlled car outside.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! You're a retard! If you really feel like nothing happened, try doing a bit more! Even if these were 'the only things' that happened I’m sure there's a story in there somewhere. Aunty Joyce was cool, Grandad (not my real grandad, he was in his 90s and was my Aunty Joyce(not my real aunty... sorry...)'s dad) was fruppin hilarious. Where did I play with my car? What the hecking cup is Arcadians?

Saturday 6th February 1988

Comic relief raised over 10 million pounds!!! Nothing much happened today apart from we went to Pamela and Matthews. 8 days to go I don't think I’m going to make it!

Are you beginning to see where I got the name of the blog? Nothing much happened today apart from... Pamela and Matthew were loads of fun to be around, Matthew and I used to watch Star Wars ep IV on Betamax every time we went to their house, and we pretty much always used to play hide and seek amongst many other games... it was always a proper laugh and I loved going there... I just wish I had the foresight to actually make this diary an actual note of events that would otherwise go unrecorded. Instead you get a fact that you can look up on the interwebs. No one needs to know what Comic Relief 88 made on the night, tell me about what made you nearly wet yourself laughing about!

I’m beginning to get weirded out by the countdown to Valentine's day. I've read ahead and I know what's going to happen...

Rednoseday Friday 5th February 1988

It's 1.30am so i'm not writing much just Comic relief was quite good and so was racing club

Dear Jebus boy! What is the matter with you? Build up to something and then forget/neglect entirely to talk about it! Really I have nothing to offer. I’m guessing that by 1.30am it started to get a bit rude on Comic Relief and therefore I was either ushered to bed, or went of my own volition as I was a bit embarrassed.

Thursday 4th February 1988

10 days to go!!! We are going to have a “theatre” coming tomorrow I am writing about it today because I will be staying up until about 3.00am Saturday morning because comic relief is on tomorrow night can't wait to See Andy Crane going into the Gunktank. Stopping now because I want to get my sleep because of tomorrow night.

Remember Andy Crane?   

and an interview mentioning the gunge tank here

I love the big sentence, utterly pointless but kinda how kids talk. I do feel I've kinda cheated myself a bit with the constant saying why I have to stop writing. I really should have just done a diary every few days instead of trying to do it every night.

I think when I said “theatre”, I meant a theatre company... but we'll never know cos this is literally the only mention of it I've found so far. That there is a definite sign that some days of learning and culture were a bit wasted on me.

Wednesday 3rd February 1988

Did some quilling today it was quite good if anybody reading this doesn't know what quilling is it's rolling paper up into shapes and making patterns and pictures with them still don't know if Fay loves me or not.

Why am I so obsessed with Fay? It's annoying me now. I feel really quite bad for the little chap that was me...

the fact that I wrote the explanation of quilling is one of my favourite bits of this whole diary. It illustrates that I wanted to share this with people at some point, but if that is the case then why the diddlyheck didn't I make this a bit more flippin interesting?