Thursday 28th January 1988

Had the rest of my verucca taken off today and I saw the razor blade it was dead sharp it started bleeding I thought it had stopped when I put my sock back on but when we got home there was blood all over my sock and in my shoe! Nothing goes right for me. Daniel Shepherd, David Widdowson, Sarah Moffet and Corrine Leader made up this code today and instead of saying sorry you said “orrysay” and instead of hello you said “oellhay” getting neck ache again so I'll stop now.

“Nothing goes right for me” heartbreaking. I remember very clearly the journey home, about half a mile up Green Lane complaining bitterly about how much my foot hurt (I blame the nurse, she should have used a less 'dead sharp' blade) but my mum didn't believe me... my little white socks and my Adidas Samba sole were soaked in blood when I got into the hallway and my mum apologised and got me some ice cream.

Again, the names aren't changed cos we were all innocent and I think it's kinda funny how I wrote everyone's full name, I don't know why. The secret code must be a playground conciousness thing, it seeps through the cracks in the tarmac and gets everyone at some point.

Wednesday 27th January 1988

Fay doesn't love anyone!! but today we did get better half of the time we were meant to be reading we were talking to one another. My guinea pig died today mind you she was nine. Did a class assembly today everybody said they couldn't hear anybody apart from me (does that mean I've got a big mouth) Wednesday are losing 5 – 0 against Everton!!!!!! 18 days until Valentine's day it's getting closer oh no!

Yeah, you already guessed that might happen with Fay didn't you? I love the 'we did get better' bit. I was/am such a dweeb!

Now, I really liked my guinea pig, you wouldn't be able to tell by the fact that I mentioned her so many times before this entry... she was called Dandelion and I have absolutely no idea why but I got her when she was very old.

Self deprecation again, big mouth... not a clue what the assembly was about – it's that kind of thing that might have helped flesh out my diary a bit but instead I wrote about flippin football again.

Australiaday Tuesday 26th January 1988

Did two rehearsals for the assembly. I have to say five things it's all about Australia because today is Australia day it is 200 years since the first white settlers landed there. And most of them were convicts!!! I think I'm getting through to Fay I'm going to ask her tomorrow who she fancies if she says me I'll ask her what her favourite colour is and buy her some flowers that colour. And put a love letter in the paper sort of cone their in. Mum and Dad have gone out so I'm stuck with nanan.

2 things here, my nanan was ace and I loved her a lot. So why am I complaining about being 'stuck' with her? I think it's cos I wanted to be babysat by a hot local teenager instead (like all my friends at school... allegedly).

The 2^nd thing was the 'plan' maybe I could have got some tips from a young babysitter on how to pick up Fay... I think you can probably guess her answer to my most inspired question and the excellent plan that was to follow...

Oh and 'the paper sort of cone their in?' numpty.

Monday 25th January 1988

Had my verucca burnt off today this is what the nurse did she scraped the hard skin off with a razor blade and put a sort of acid on it which burnt it off and put a plaster on and a bandage so the plaster doesn't come off it is quite painful I was oohing and aaghing all the way home Wednesday are drawing 1-1 so far against Everton in the second replay 20 days to go and I still haven't got a girlfriend it's not fair!!

Phewf, I don't know if it's just me but I got out of breath reading that... one long disjointed sentence about nothing. Verrucas will be a recurring theme, I apologise for that now. I don't think the nurse actually did anything to help them, she just randomly hacked bits of my feet off.

I worry about my former self, I really do. I've always hated football, it has never mattered to me. So who was I talking to when I was recounting the Wednesday vs Everton score? I didn't care and no one has read this diary apart from me until now...

Sunday 24th January 1988

Well here I am sitting here listening to my walkman. What I've got on is quite good. I recorded it myself (how modest) it's got Stutter rap on it and this is the chorus.

Noone's ever seen what I mean

from the age of n, n, n, n, Thirteen

we've all been caught in a m, m, m, m, mouth trap

so join with us do the st, st, st, st, stutter rap

it's dead good it's by morris minor and the majors. Can't think what else to put so I'll stop now.

I'm so awesomely naïve that I think I can take credit for recording something from an LP onto a tape...

Good old Morris Minor and the Majors, Tony Hawks (a name featuring possibly the most important 's' in the world) a pastiche of some famous hip hop tunes, none of which I had heard at the time so as I grew up and listened to more hip hop, I discovered more elements they used. The album I recorded it off was my 1^st ever vinyl album, bought from Our Price in Chesterfield along with a vinyl cleaner velvet brush thing... The Greatest Hits of 1988. It had Sabrina on it.

Saturday 23rd January 1988

Went to Chesterfield today and got a model of a Ferrari Testarossa it's dead good. 22 days until Valentines day I've got to get a girlfriend before then (some chance) I really fancy Fay so I've got my eye on her hopefully she loves me. I'll stop now because it's nearly half past ten and I've got to get my beauty sleep (I need it).

Life is full of exciting things isn't it? A model of a Testarossa... I remember it being awesome because it cost something stupidly extravagant like £7.99 and it was probably the 1st toy car I got that I didn't at some point open the doors on and pretend it could fly.

Self deprecation is one of my fortes, why do I need to make some unknown reader (now you) feel sorry for me in my personal diary, surely it's a place where I could let rip with some fantastical voyages of whimsy rather than saying things like I'm ugly, why would anyone want me? Fay was pretty hot though... ;)

Friday 22nd January 1988

Woke up this morning to find therewasan inch of Snow on the ground. Went to racing club tonight couldn't race with my car because my dad Took it to work on Tuesday and left the transmitter on so the batteries had run down. Actually I'm glad that happened because the race I should have been in there was about fifteen cars all crasting into one another. Then a couple went outside with the lunch box and it was skidding round all over the place. I'm stopping now because my mum's coming.

1st off then, I need to clear up the fact that therewasan was all written without spaces so I kept it.

Racing club was radio controlled cars, I used to go every Friday night and I was really pretty good at it, my car was one of the few British made ones available (Mardave Meteor fact fans!) and although I had to put up with a few idiosyncrasies I proper enjoyed it.

The Lunch Box was a monster truck VW Beetle.

And yes, crasting was the word written, I meant crashing but then I accidentally crossed the h.

Thursday 21st January 1988

Went to Henry Fanshaw today they beat us 11-0 at netball of course they Cheated. had a scrap with Garrone he kicked me once and I hit him two times (some scrap) then we made friends and walked off. I played with my bouncy ball up and down the stairs twice it came down and hit the wall behind me and bounced off and hit me on the head. Had a downpour of snow at dinnertime Garrone just stood out there getting soaked. I think Fay and Scott have broken up (thank goodness) 24 days until valentines day wonder how many cards I'll get? Oh well no use wondering is it? Getting tired So I'll stop writing.

I'm fairly certain I made up the fact that the bouncy ball hit me twice... who the hell was I lying to? Myself? I think it hit me once...

The fight with Garonne was utterly true and remains to this day the only fight I've ever had - I can't remember what it was about though.

I don't know why I felt it necessary to say why I had to stop writing. It's my diary and I really shouldn't have to explain myself. 

wednesday 20th January 1988

Fay and Scott are in Love I think because I asked her if she does and she said “I don't know.” I forgot to say yesterday that I have a verucca. Stuart and I did this after dinner we looked out of the class window and watched everybody in the playground and then we went outside and said to them “I can tell you your Past” and told them what they were doing when we saw them and they wondered how we did it. Did the last test today it was a mathematics problem solving it was quite hard. Getting neck ache so I'll stop writing now


Can't for the life of me remember Scott. Don't you just love how I slip in the phrase 'I forgot to say yesterday that I have a verucca'? 
At the time I remember thinking that we were very very clever with the whole telling people their past thing when infact it was basically spying on folks from afar and then telling them... I remain convinced that everyone was stunned by our 'powers' though... 

Tuesday 19th January 1988

Today we did a maths test parts of it were dead hard and other parts of it were easy for instance...

How many points are Determined by the intersections

of x.y.z.

it looks hard but it's dead easy. William finished in about half the time. We did drama as well it was about escaping from a workhouse. And we had to do a terribly boring story about life in a workhouse the conditions and everything like that. Found out that Fay Hates Stuart (Secretly I think she likes me) anyway I also found out today from my mum who my valentines card was from last year it was someone called Catherine or Kathryn my nanans friends daughter. Thats it for now.


So, that's it? No 'hello, this is my new diary...' no introduction to me or anything like an explanation for any of the names included. I can't for the life of me remember what William's last name was/is. Fay and Stuart feature heavily in the diary. I might give Stu the heads-up but I have no idea where Fay is...


oh and the answer to the question?  I remember being very proud at getting it right as I'd never seen the word intersections before...


3?

an explanation...

This is something I've been meaning to do for a while now.

I have only ever kept a diary once, and that was when I was 11, and it was only for a few months. For whatever reason, this diary has managed to follow me for a long time (22 years so far) and I've not added to it even though there's plenty of space in it.

I wrote it in pencil and it's a bit faint now, rather than losing it forever - I'm going to put it up here.

I was a tool when I was little, there are names in this that I'm not changing - if anyone reads it and spots themselves, then I think that'll be awesome. There's nothing incriminating, there's plenty that's massively embarassing but I think that it's entirely upon me that the ridicule will fall. There's nothing groundbreaking, I'm not even sure there's anything in there that will raise a laugh beyond those that know me well. But I feel it's necessary to keep it somewhere.

I'm yet to post the 1st one up here, and I'm aware it'll go in reverse order so this will be at the bottom. I intend to explain things as they arise. I guess I'm going to have to do that in a different font after each entry as a conclusion.

I'm not the most organised person in the world so this post might well sit here for a very long time and have nothing to keep it company... I intend to sort it, but it's a personal project and I'm not bowing to any peer pressure... although it might be nice to get it done before we move, on the offchance it goes missing.